Thursday, December 12, 2013

Cause or symptom - Reflection on Newtown

On Saturday the US will sadly celebrate the first anniversary of the Newtown's Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. 6 adults gunned down. 20 children, all in first grade, killed. Can you imagine leaving your child in the morning in school, a safe place, and hearing later on that they were killed in such a scary and gruesome fashion? There are no words.

Since then the US hasn't made any progress to either deal with gun violence of finding better ways to treat people with serious mental health issues. People who love their guns cling to the idea that they need to protect themselves and people who don't like government-led healthcare cling to the idea that they shouldn't pay for something that is not affecting them. And once again, I see something that is really disturbing: we'd rather deal with symptoms, with consequences, than do the hard work of finding causes for issues and dealing with those. So instead of working on the cause of gun violence (poverty, availability of arms) people buy more guns to protect themselves in case they're attacked. Instead of working on the cause of mental illnesses, whatever they are, we load people with medications that may effectively help in some cases, but might leave people even more lonely and dangerous in other cases. And mind you, I see this too in my work: we deal with AIDS by telling donors we are working with orphans and widows (well I know we're actually working HARD to decrease maternal transmission of the virus and teaching people about safe sex. I'm mostly talking about what people care about, what they give money to), we get money when we talk about trafficking rescues, not when when we talk about prevention. It's always the same: dealing with consequences -with the symptoms of the issue- instead of taking time to examine the root cause of issues and actually decreasing the issue in the first place.

So as we talk about Newton, I know that we will weep and grieve... and go back to our ways of thinking. I'll hug my baby closer. Some people will hug their rifle closer. Sad, sad world.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

An update, at last!

I am finally updating this blog. I think about updating it all the time and then never find time to do so! So this will be a bunch of miscellaneous items!

First, I was in Honduras with work last week when I read on the TV in front of the workshop room that Nelson Mandela has died. Very maturely I broke down crying. You see, I have always known about Mandela. I have always admired him. My mom talked to me about him when I was 7-8. I was a huge fan of Johnny Clegg when I was 9-10 and even attended one of his concerts with my father -and his main song advocated for the release of Mandela. I cried for joy when he was freed, rejoiced when he was elected president (and those images of long lines of people waiting to vote for the first time in their lives is the reason why I will always vote if I have the right to, because others still can't today), and then I cried again when the South African team won the World Cup of rugby the year after. And since then I have followed his life from afar, knowing he would eventually die but hoping this day would not come too soon. Well it has, and it was heartbreaking. Oh Madiba... He was a man of profound political convictions (violent at first, peaceful later on) and political intelligence. He was a man of peace and reconciliation. I know that he had short-fallings as president -the way he didn't really deal with AIDS, the way reconciliation sometimes meant obliged forgiveness, the way established quotas were not that good for the economy- but everyone expected so much from him. He became an icon. And today we -I- remember him as a man who was able to unite a country and the world around peace and freedom. What a great, great loss.

Now I am back home. Work has been really busy lately. Home life has been equally crazy! That means I haven't made friends here yet. I have a great friends in Orange Country but we rarely see each other. I want friends. I miss my friends from Seattle dearly. I am craving close friendships... but I don't want to meet new people. I am a member of 2 Meetup groups who cater to French families. I went to a dinner with the group 2 days ago and there were maybe 112 adults there. I just wanted to hide in the bathroom or leave. Uh I am so uncomfortable meeting new people. So I focused on a couple of persons, the woman sitting to my right and her husband. Fortunately, the French are usually good at talking about serious topics. I suck at small talk. Suuu-uuuck. So we talked about nice, serious things, but man... I was glad to leave! I am so much more comfortable surrounded by Joe's family members because they're awesome and I love them, but they're not "friends" per se. I feel getting to know people might be difficult for my introverted self, but I'm going to try anyway.

One good way to find friends would be through church. Ah yes... I haven't found time to look for a church here. And I am a bit stuck -like I was in Seattle for, oh, 5 years before I found my church- because I want to go to a Catholic church but want the kind of small groups and relationships that is found in Protestant churches. So in the meantime... I don't go to church. I have to start "church shopping" pronto. But even my Catholic church in Seattle, which was great and diverse and welcoming and so focused on social justice issues didn't have small groups. And I want small groups. I want to grow in my spiritual walk. Then again I say that now but maybe finding the time to meet would be too much for my schedule. I just need to make time and go for it.

That being said, making time for friends / groups is great but I haven't even made time for a date night in months. And we live 50 minutes away from Joe's family... and we see them almost every weekend! You'd think a date night would be an easy thing to schedule, and you'd be wrong. I need a date night. Stat.

Finally, Leo has been a joy lately. He's talking non stop -mainly about Cars (the movie) and how fast he is and how he wants to race everyone. He cannot pronounce "F" and says "P" instead. So he's "paster than past!" He still says his name is Eelo. That's the only "L" sound he pronounces, though, as his "L" still sounds like "W" as is awwegaytow. His "K" sounds like "T" so he eats "tooties." And his French is sadly limited -that should be better when he (hopefully) goes to a French school next year. He is working on intonation and when he asks a question he has this very cute high voice. He is cuddly and funny. I feel I need to be stricter on some areas of our lives (sitting down and eating dinners, the amount of TV we watch, the candies he's eating, the toys he wants to buy and usually gets, etc). Ah motherhood. I love it and at times I really just want my old life back. Lucky I'm learning to be a good mom with the best little boy I could have wished for. He is my world and my sunshine.

So that's about it for now... I will commit to updating this blog more in 2014 (one of the resolutions I know I will make!).

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Letter to my son on Obamacare

My love,



You may learn in a few years in a History class or on the news that in 2013 the government of the United States shut down and was almost unable to pay its debts because of a standoff between the two main party lines, the Democrats and Republicans. This standoff comes from the refusal from the Republicans to implement the Obamacare –a law actually called “The Affordable HealthCare Act” and upheld by the Supreme Court. Hopefully by the time you learn about it, this law will be the norm –and not combatted as it is now. Hopefully by the time you are an adult, people who fought Obamacare will be seen as we see people who opposed birth control and marriage between people of different colors (come to think of it, they’re probably the same if they’re over 50): bigots who wish they could go back to the “golden age” of America, which is probably around 1860 when women were not given a voice and cowboys ruled the land.

Leo, I wish you a lifetime of happiness and health, but God forbid, should you need to go the emergency room or should you have a serious illness, you won’t think twice about how this health issue will affect your budget –because it won’t. You won’t have to pay $100,000 to go through gruesome chemo. You won’t have to sell your home and claim bankruptcy because you’ve been shot randomly (let’s not even talk about the gun debate in the US). Your wife, if you have one, won’t have to carefully budget the birth of your child. You won’t think of healthcare as a financial risk. 

Right now, people do. I do. I think of our next child and fret at the idea of spending another $3,000 on delivery –that’s what we paid for you, and, my love, I had such an easy labor. I think of how much a cavity or physical therapy for your eyes could cost us. I think of all the people who cannot afford their treatment right now or don’t go to the doctor because they’re afraid of how much that will cost –and end up with more issues, sometimes death, because something preventable is now happening.
And I wish things were different. I wish people who claim they believe in a Christ of love and compassion would accept to pay a bit more to help others (and I mean anyone, not people you choose to help, such as your friends or your church. Real support for the poor and the needy doesn't include choice of beneficiary). I wish these same people would stop considering that the poor are lazy and living off their hard earned money –the poor, who sometimes work 2 full time jobs and cannot afford healthcare or child care or a decent apartment. I wish they would stop being afraid of “socialist” countries such as Canada, France, and the UK, and realize that living in harmony means sacrificing a bit of your wealth for the happiness of all. I wish people would stop being afraid of taxes –in France I paid about 40% of taxes; here your dad and I pay 37% and we have way fewer benefits. 

I hope and pray that in 20 years, when you are about to be independent and find a job you will worry about whom to date and where to live, not how you’re going to pay for your next doctor’s bill. I wish the political divisions that plague this country will be gone and, though political differences will exist forever, these differences won’t be a matter of life and death for other people –those we don’t listen to, those we prefer to judge and not help. 

I am so tired of this fight. I am tired of ignorance, bigotry, and selfishness. And I hope that the USA will be a country in which you will thrive and enjoy life to the fullest. If not… there will always be France!

Love,
Your socialist mama

Thursday, August 22, 2013

One of the benefits of having a child

Having a child is wonderful in so many ways. One of the ways is that it opens your eyes to new things -you see the world trough your child's eye. And so I hear every train whistle in town, notice every fast car going by... and I now love to buy clothes and items that are (gasp!) not blue. Recently, I bought green dresses and shirts and a purple wallet. Oh I know... nothing there earth shattering, but for a smurf like me, this is actually pretty big.

So one of the benefits of having a child is widening your world view... starting with colors! 

(Yes, my next post should be more interesting. Maybe. I lack sleep, people. My brain can only produce so much!)

Friday, August 9, 2013

We can't afford a house!

And you know what? It's so freeing to know that! No more looking at over priced homes wondering how we are going to afford a possible mortgage. No more freaking out because I feel guilty that our real estate agent is not getting any business from us. We just can't afford it right now, period. First the market is crazy and houses that sold for 520K last November are sold 650K+ today. Second, FHA loans that have less than a 10% down payment require mortgage insurance for the whole duration of the mortgage (no thanks!). As it stands we don't have anywhere close to 10%.

So we're going to keep on renting for about 3 years, save as much as we can, and then re-assess. If prices go down, we may re-assess before 3 years, but considering this market, I doubt a decrease will happen in the near future. Renting is about 1.5K less expensive than any mortgage we will have if house prices are stable in 3 years. 1.5K PER MONTH. Argh. I'm totally fine with renting. Our lease ends in December and we need to figure out whether to stay or move -but that's a small headache compared to coming up with a huge mortgage every month. I love my job but my company might downsize down the road (we never know) and I want to be able to stay at home for a while if needed without developing an ulcer.

Aaaaah, I like when the message is that clear: nope, can't do it, move along.

Now... about this second car... ;-)


Thursday, August 1, 2013

Timely

After I posted my I-have-no-time-wah-wah thoughts yesterday I read my daily devotion (which in truth I read about once a week, catching up on all days. Except yesterday. I was on time) and read this:

From the book Jesus Calling.

"July 31

Trust me in the depth of your being. It is there that I live in constant communication with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.

I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where I live, My Peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in My Presence. Then you will be able to hear Me bestowing the resurrection blessing: Peace be with you."

This was soothing to my heart. Peace be with you. And as we do at Mass, I turn to you my friends today to greet you and wish you a good day. Peace be with you all.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Where does time go?

I feel so old saying this but... what do you mean it's already August??? Time has flown lately. We moved 2 months ago and I feel like I haven't had time to breathe. We were 2 weeks at Joe's parents, then a month in our new place, then 10 days traveling (good trip! I had uninterrupted sleep and read 4 books... heaven!), and now I've been back for a week and I feel like I have been running this whole time -and not running physically, as my weight shows!

I just need a minute... to set up a daily routine for us (I thrive on routine), to figure out whether we need to buy a car or not (I can walk to everything but I feel constrained to that 1 mile-radius around my apartment. 1st world problem, I know), to gather all the documents we need to apply for a loan in case we buy a house,  to gather all the documents to finally tell my government that I've been married for 8 years and oh by the way I have a child and I want him to have French citizenship, to keep on reading, to catch up with friends, to take my mom's phone calls, to set up appointments for a dentist and optometrist for Leo, to see whether he can take swimming lessons anywhere, to...
Pfiew..... I have a lot to do and I feel I have no time to do any of it. Leo goes to bed by 830-9 and we usually watch TV shows at night and then our crazy days start all over again (interrupted by nights that are still crazy. Yikes).

All that rambling to say... I am incredibly grateful for the life we have, for being so close to family (we've seen them every weekend and I love it!), for working from home, for my friends, near and far, for a God who loves me and showers me with blessings. But it all goes so fast! I might need to take a morning off and write everything down. Hmmm, maybe I'll do that!

How has your life been lately?

Books I have read, in case you're interested: Damned Nations, The Light Between Oceans, The Fault in Our Stars, The Lost Wife, The Language of Flowers, and I have begun Bring Up the Bodies and Running the Rift (and I have some books waiting in my Kindle queue: The Bungalow and the Cleaner of Chartres). Gah I love reading!! Recommendations in the comments are appreciated :)

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Change is coming!

It's 5:40am. I have been up since 2. I have a Skype meeting at 6, so I'm not going back to bed. Needless to say, I'm exhausted.

It's not a secret: Léo has never been a good sleeper. Take that back. He was a great sleeper until he turned 5 months old and learnt to roll over. After that he became a crappy sleeper and I became quite the enabler. I was never consistent when I did sleep training and now he's 2 and has never slept through the night for more than 3 weeks at a time.

It's been worse lately. He has climbed out of his crib -and now gets out of bed- to come into our bed every night for 2 months. Our trip to Europe, then our move here haven't helped much. He's usually good with changes but I think the last few months have been hard on him -going to daycare has meant daily tears and even though he's still in a good mood all the time I know he's been struggling with all the changes. That has meant that he's been up again for hours on end during the night. Tonight -this morning- he was so exhausted he started crying and screaming uncontrollably. He asks to be rocked, he asks for apple juice, he asks to be in his bed, then in ours... It's frustrating to say the least.

Things will change when I come back from my upcoming trip (queue in mommy guilt). I'll give it a week and then I'll make major changes that will hopefully right the bad habits I've let slide, from his eating to his drinking to his sleeping habits (drinking habits as in too much apple juice!). It'll be hard. I don't know how to say no and how to set boundaries -obviously. But we all need this to happen. We all need to be healthier and we all need to sleep better.

I hope he'll do well with Joe and his family next week. We will both be out of town for 3 nights during that time so he'll have sleep overs at his grandma's and maybe his aunt's.

In the meantime... Coffee, anyone?

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Home Office

This is what my setting looks like.


The only thing missing is a picture of my (work) sisters, taken during my last week at work. I need to print it. I'll also add pictures of my friends' children at one point.
Also I (well, Joe does) need to install a keyboard thing under the desk so that I have more room on the desk itself.

Please note that the blue cork board was regular color but I spray painted it blue. Call me Martha!

I like working from here. It's a bit too dark for my taste -I have a lamp on all day- but it's cozy.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Not on vacation anymore

Neither Joe nor I took time off after we moved to California but it still felt like we were on vacation. Sunshine, family, Léo around all the time... One month of what seemed like relaxing time and bonding with family. And now that Léo is at his new daycare (since yesterday) it feels like real life again. The heaviness of leaving him crying behind and the feeling of working without a pause -well, one that doesn't mean a hug from my little guy- really made me land back on planet earth.
But the sunshine is still here (mostly), we live about an hour from our family and friends, and Léo is ready to shower us with hugs and cuddles as soon as we pick him up from daycare.

Life is good. It's not a vacation, but it's good!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Dreading Daycare

I am working all day long. I have never worked that hard actually! No opportunity to take a coffee break or lunch with girlfriends or to chat for 30 minutes (or more!) about life and kids and trips. I'm just working. And days are long already. And they're pretty much the same: moi, my computer, my somewhat dark apartment (I need to buy lamps!). Oy.

But Leo is home with his grandma (she's really really awesome as a mom, mother-in-law, and now grandma. I wish she could move in with us and care for Leo all the time!). And his being home means that I see and hear him and get to kiss and hug him whenever I want. He seems to love it as well.

And as I'm signing one more check for his new school (why are schools so %$^# expensive in this country?), I find myself dreading July 1st, when he'll go back to school. Fortunately he'll only be in school for 4 days a week during the summer and spend Mondays with his grandma. And his first week will only be M-W as I have July4-5 off. Still, it'll be heartbreaking to let him go. After our 2 weeks in France he cried every morning when we brought him to daycare and he told us daily he didn't want to go. I hope he likes his new school. I hope they hug him and shower him with attention and love. We were spoiled in Seattle with a ratio teachers to students of 1:3 or less (I'm serious). Now it's 1:6. *sigh*

I know he'll be fine. I know he'll make new friends. I'm still dreading it and think about July 1st all. the. time.

Monday, June 17, 2013

I slapped his hand

One day last week Leo was running everywhere, not listening, and whining 80% (at Target he threw a tantrum because he wanted a toy, then he ran everywhere in the outdoor mall we were at, etc). So in the evening on the way to the park, when he ran from me on the sidewalk after I told him to stop, I just ran to him, grabbed him, slapped his hand, and said a firm and loud "DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM ME WHEN I TELL YOU TO STOP!" He started crying of course and he said "Mama ow Leo." Ah great... I do not believe hitting for any reason is a good way to raise a child -or discipline them. I don't think a slap on the hand is hitting per se but I felt pretty crappy after that anyway.

Oy. I love him to bits. I could kiss his cute face all day. But when he doesn't listen... and he doesn't listen a lot these days, I just don't know what to do and I lose patience.

I am definitely working on being more patient. Work in progress.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Part of the last day in Seattle - in pictures

 Léo supervised the packing. 

 Then in the morning of the move (last Friday) he went to his friend Dez's and stayed there until 4. Dez's dad was a rock star that day and entertained Léo, fed him, played with him, put him down for a nap. Thank you Estevenins. We miss you. 
Joe was at work so I had free hands to finish packing, cleaning, etc. 

 Packing done!

 Meanwhile, Dez and Léo were still having a perfectly awesome time.

 The movers were to come at 9 but they came at 1030 and instead of being 3 they were only 2. It took them 4 hours to load everything into the 2 pods. That means that Joe and I only had about 2 hours to throw away most of the furniture that didn't fit into the pods or that we didn't want and clean the apartment... It didn't happen. The apartment managers are probably pissed at us right now and will charge us a lot for cleaning and everything. Uh.

 Oh we got to vacuum the apartment. So there's that.

 Then we had to pack the dogs in their crates, 6 bags, and the child -in his car seat- in a cab. That was epic. We arrived in OC at about 1015P and off we went to Joe's parents with our load.

But it was all worth it!

 Because this little guy is happy!

 He's enjoying the sunshine. 

 And he loves being with family.

 Yesterday his grandma and he had frozen yogurt. 

Now that's the life!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Aaah Seattle...

So we've moved. Tomorrow Joe is going to work and I'm be working from home. Leo is staying with a nanny in the morning and his grandma in the afternoon after his nap. Our new life begins yet it feels like we're on vacation -I have worked from here before. I guess it'll sink in that we're not moving back when we have our apartment in 2 weeks. Right now we're having a fun time with family and enjoying the sunshine.

Seattle has been so good to us. We have lived there for 7 years. It's funny how my life has 7 year cycles. My happiest years were when I was 16, 23, and 30. And now this. How neat.

Without further ado, here is what I will not miss:
- The rain (but I will miss the city's beautiful summers)
- Having to take a plane to see any family member
- Rental prices -so high!
- People driving 60 MPH on the left lane of the freeway
- Have I mentioned the rain?

Here is what I will miss dearly:
- My friends. Oh how I will miss my soul sisters at work. Seeing them daily at work and sometimes outside of work has been such a blessing. I felt loved and accepted and cared for around these girls and I love them so so much. I will miss Starbucks runs, chatting about nothing and very important topics, running errands in the middle of the day, and simply sharing life with them on a daily basis. I am so thankful for Skype and FB but I will miss hugging these girls tight. I will also miss my friends outside of work, mainly the Estevenins, who are one of our closest friends (their son is Leo's age and those 2 love each other), but also other friends from our 7 years there -some I haven't seen in years but that are still very dear to my heart.
- The library. I actually cried a bit while driving in front of the library on my last day. The Seattle Public Library has so many books and holding resource is so easy. Loved my intellectual city -along with that, I will miss the fact that Seattle has a lot of immigrants from all over the world and is really liberal.
- My church. So ok I haven't been to church in over a year (WHAT!) but I loved this church. The music was divine (Gospel. Not boring at all) and the main theme was social justice. People were liberal and accepting. Loved this little Madrona community.
- Living downtown. So easy to go anywhere. No need for a car. We could walk, bus, or take the monorail everywhere. That I will miss so much.
- Restaurants that are not chain. Great great food!

Let's see what San Diego -or our little suburban bubble in Encinitas- has to offer!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

We're in California!

We have arrived! I have so much to write about, from the best and worse of Seattle to our last days in the city to what to look forward to here. This weekend we're resting, seeing family, maybe some friends, and getting ready for work on Monday. Stay tuned. I'll be posting quite a bit next week.

On to this new phase of life!!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Role Play and Talk

Yesterday was the first time Léo put in place a role play. Sometimes he plays with two cars and has them say hi to each other, but that's about it. Yesterday we changed his crib into a day bed hoping that he would love it and stay there instead of hoping onto our bed in the middle of the night (fail, though he did fall asleep easily in his bed instead of ours). He had me lie in his bed and told me "mama night-night. Léo bye-bye. Mama boohoohoo." So there I was was, made to cry. So I borrowed Léo's way of talking and pretend cried "Mama no night-night. Yes Léo." He ran back into the bedroom and said "mama yeah night-night. No Léo." Of course he was laughing his butt off and loving it. We played that game for a good 15 minutes.

Aaah, living with a talking toddler is the best. He's not talking in full sentences of course and most of his words are only understandable if you know him really well but he's getting better everyday at repeating after us and talking to us. Sometimes you can tell his brain "freezes" and it takes him a few seconds of stuttering to get his words out!

And in other news, we've been watching "Cars" everyday. Oh my how motherhood has changed me. My son was NOT to watch TV. Yes but TV is sooo convenient in the morning while we get ready... So "Cars" it is for now. Of course he can tell us pieces of dialogues before they happen. I love that!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Europe

... in crappy IPhone pictures!

In the Seatac airport playground. Great way to use up a lot of energy before a flight. Our flight was at 2pm so he didn't nap until we got on the plane -but then he slept 3 hours straight!

He's a bit of a daredevil!

Happy pre-flight! 

The sucker helped him with the pressure of taking off -and was just a nice treat for him. I gave bags of goodies to the people around us with a note saying something like "I'm only 2 so be patient with me." I found the idea on some website. No one cared about the goodies. But then again Léo is a really good traveler, so I didn't have to worry too much. 

I found this on his hair when we landed. WHen he drinks his bottle (yeah yeah, he's 2 and still uses his "baba") he twists his hair. He created a dreadlock! Seriously. I had to cut that sucker. 

When we were landing I thought of all the steps I needed to take the get out of the airport. Pass through customs, pick up bags, pick up car seat... WAIT, I forgot the car seat!! So I had my dad drive me to a store and bought a crappy one for 40 euros. Good thing is, I left it in France so next time we go there, I don't have to carry ours with us. 

Léo was pretty jetlagged of course and woke up in the middle of the night for 2-3 hours. The second and third night, he woke up and screamed for Joe. We face timed and it didn't help. Oh poor little boy. I knew Joe would meet us in just a few days but explaining that to a 2-year old who misses his daddy was not helpful. 

We met up with really great friends of ours from Seattle! Their son, Desmond, is 2 weeks older than Léo and those two have known each other since birth. Dez's dad is French, too. It was so great being able to meet with them there. 

Family picture :)

Léo and his "mimi" -my grandma. 

Finally the day has arrived! On the train to Paris to pick up Joe! 

I didn't tell him about his arrival until 5 minutes before his train (from Amsterdam) arrived. Again, toddlers and time... Once he saw Joe, he didn't really say anything but hugged him for a good 5 minutes straight. It was so sweet!

We walked a lot in Paris and tried to find playgrounds for Léo. Here I think we're near the Champs Elysees.

Aaah, ze monuments...

Le Louvre.

La Seine.

And Léo after a bath!

This is a street in the Latin Quarter where all the restaurants are yummy and cheap.

We had this menu. 10 Euros. Good quality. You can't beat that!

Oh and did I mention I stuffed my face with pastries? 

We took the night train to Munich. Léo slept through the night. It was way better than a flight or a day train. That's Alex's backyard (Alex is my dad's wife. Though at the time of the picture they were not married yet!)

Happy Joe!

Thoughtful Léo.

Léo made fast friends on this trip, including this little girl, whom he tried to hug a lot -being German, hugs are not really the way to say hello and she didn't quite get why he had his arms outstretched all the time. Ha. But she was sweet to him and definitely took care of him -as did all his cousins!

I don't have pictures of the wedding but I have this picture of the happy couple! Congrats to my dad :)

We do, too!! 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Are you still reading?

Just wondering whether I should keep on writing on this blog or journal my thoughts instead!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

The offer that got refused

On Friday we saw a GREAT house. We loved it. It's in the location we want, it's new, it's in our price range. Perfect. So we made an offer quite a bit over the asking price. They had 3 good offers the day before they had an open house -crazy seller's market! They had an open house, got 25 people interested. At the end of the day, it was between us and another buyer. The sellers were not sure about the FHA loan so we asked our lender to call them and write them a letter. They asked us to pay for the title insurance. Fine. And then they asked us to wave the appraisal contingency. Hell no.
So they said no and went with the other buyer. I feel this appraisal contingency is going to come between us and a house. It's ok... We're so bummed but it's ok. And the sellers and their agents were super nice to us, making sure to reach out to us after they refused our offer. First class all around. We have an amazing real estate agent and a great lender. We're in good hands.
So back to square one. We'll find something good. I am not worried -or I am in denial. Either way, i'm not stressed out about that. I'm stressed about the move and packing and our trip to Europe.
But hey, I'm stressed about good things, so all is good!

Stay tuned for our next adventure in house hunting!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

House Hunting

is only fun on HGTV where people have a choice between three houses and voila, they have a new home!

In reality it's stressful -and it involves a lot of money! The market in San Diego is not good for buyers right now. There is little inventory and houses are sold in a few days, meaning that buyers have to offer the price listed or over. Before we flew to California last week we had on our list 5-6 houses we liked and were only able to visit one because the other ones were already sold. Our real estate agent told us that it was not easy to buy a house from Seattle but she'll visit houses for us now that she knows what we want. Still... We look at new houses daily but there is not much there in the neighborhoods we like.

Also, yeah, we're going to live in suburbia. I don't quite know what I think about that yet!

We might have to rent at first and wait for ZE house to come along. I told my friends at work that I don't know whether I'm in denial or totally at peace but I'm not stressed at all. Everything will be fine. We'll be fine. We'll have a place to live and we'll manage. We're so lucky to have this opportunity, to move to a place close to family, and to be able to rent or buy.

Now we need to start going through the apartment to figure out what we're giving / throwing away. Fun, fun!


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Consequences

I had to go to the dentist's office today. I have to go 2 more times in the next 3 weeks. All because I don't floss enough. That shows me that sometimes being good / healthy is not fun, but the consequences of not being good / healthy are really really annoying.
Examples in my life:
No flossing (+ pregnancy) => 2 crowns + 4 cavities.
No dog training => dogs who can't walk without pulling (and pee on our carpet all the time!)
Eating like crap => 20 pounds I'm not losing any time soon.
(#firstworldproblems. I know)

It's so easy to be lazy -but dealing with the consequences is even more annoying and costly in time and money.

We talk a lot about consequences in the toddler world I live in, and I should learn to apply that to my adult life. Maybe I need a time out!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Processing, Léo style

Léo is really talking a lot now. And he needs to process what he sees and experiences. All the time. When he hurts himself he "tells" us all about it by pointing to where it hurts ("that"), then pointing at the place he hurt himself ("that").

Tonight while I was rocking him he talked about something he saw this weekend. The conversation went like this:
"- Eelo, dada, mama, mmm.
- Léo, dada, and mama were eating?
- Yea. Boo choochoo beep-beep.
- You heard the blue train honk from far away?
- Yea. Ning-ning-ning-ning.
- And then the crossing signal went on.
- Yea. Down, down, down.
- And the barriers went down, you're right.
- Oh, boo choochoo!
- And the blue train arrived.
- Bye-bye boo choochoo.
- And after that we said goodbye to the blue train?
- Yea."
x 20!!

I love this -even though it means that he takes 30 minutes to fall asleep!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Tough stuff

Today I read 5-6 proposals for new projects. One of them, in Uganda, deals with child sacrifice. I couldn't finish reading the issue part -it was too difficult. And then a documentary on feminicide was shown during lunchtime. In the first couple minutes of the film, one mom in India says that she has killed 8 of her children -all daughters- and goes on describing how she killed them.

Everyday I am so thankful to work in the sector of child protection. Today I am grateful -and wary. It feels like caring for children in adversity is both a huge blessing and a bit of a curse. Reading and seeing all those issues was just... so difficult. I debriefed a bit with friends but it still weighs heavily on my mind.

It is such a privilege to be working in this field and to see the impact that the projects we are funding have on children. We're not changing all harmful practices, but we're changing some. Children are advocating for themselves and impacting their communities. And the tide is changing. Slowly but surely it is changing.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

We're moving!

Finally I can talk about it officially! We're moving to San Diego at the end of May. There, it's said. Pfiew, it feels good not to keep this hidden anymore. We have been talking about moving to Southern California for years -and then finally about a year ago I felt at home here in Seattle, after 5 years (I'm slow like that!). And that's when Joe's work decided they would open a branch in San Diego -and because Joe had pushed so much for that idea, they started talking to him about opening the office there. He interviewed last week and he got the final and official letter yesterday. On my end, I started talking to my boss in November about the possibility of working from home. He immediately agreed. Last Monday, HR officially agreed to let me have a home office. So voila, we're moving in a few months!

This is so exciting for so many reasons. We'll be closer to Joe's family and our friends from there. We'll be in the sunshine all. the. time. And did I mention we'll be closer to family? And the sun?

It's bittersweet for me because I'm losing a few things I really enjoy here: a church I love (though yeah, ok, I never go), girlfriends I love like they're my sisters, and an urban life that is so very convenient. Oh and an intellectual and liberal city. I'm going to miss all those Obama stickers on cars!

Now we have to go through the apartment, decide what we're going to keep, throw away, and donate. And we need to pack. Oh packing, how I loathe thee. And we have to find a new daycare for Léo. Stress-stress-stress-stress.

This weekend we're going to Orange County and San Diego to visit houses. That should be fun.

So YAY! We're moving soon. We're ready for this new adventure! Expect both thrilled posts and a bit of wah-wah in the next few weeks.


Sunday, March 3, 2013

Books Cravings

I am craving books about Parisian / French life with children (from a French or American point of view) and social justice (how to live it out, that is, not just theology of social justice). That's what's in my heart right now.

That's all.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

7

My great friend Melanie recommended the book "7" to me. Oh boy, was it inspiring. Jen Hatmaker's previous book, "Interrupted", was also really interesting and challenging. A couple of friends have either read or in the process of reading "7" as well. If you're looking for a super friendly book (no guilt, no false theology of you-have-to-suffer-to-follow-God's-will-for-your-life. I'm looking straight at you, book) and a challenge, get this book.

God has been working in me for a couple of years now. I feel I need to do more. Or rather I need to give up more, donate more, be more compassionate. "7" was the perfect book for me. Have I done anything since? Um. Nope! But I'm praying and really really wanting to change and be closer to what God and Jesus want from humanity: that we take the burden of those who have less -less money, less justice, less opportunities-, make them our own, and reduce impunity to zero.

I'm working on it. I'm inspired by people like Jen Hatmaker. I'm inspired by my friends who are so godly and humble (I love my friends!). In this season of Lent, I need to be challenged to do more. And I need to be held accountable -so I'm relying on you to call my BS and remind me that buying a Venti latte a day is not quite the way to go!!

Anyway... Read "7!"

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The luxury of giving up

It's Lent. I love Lent! It's like new year's resolution but with a purpose. It's a time of reflection and change. And it's only 40 days -ha! I am not giving up anything this year. I just want to be more mindful of others and others' needs. And that begins by realizing the luxury of what we have here. We can give up so many things: Starbucks, Facebook, sugar, eating out, meat, reality TV, etc. This season let's just pause and think of all that we have. Let's do this not to feel guilty but to increase our compassion and awareness of all that we could give up for others.

Happy Lent!

Friday, February 8, 2013

8 years!

8 years ago today I left France and moved to the US.

I left a country that I love for a man I love even more. I left a family I love more than words can express to create a family of my own. I left my culture, my food (bread and butter - what), my habits, and my friends to find a culture quite similar but not quite, food I have grown to love too much, and friends who are now another family. I was so joyous to be able to live with Joe -and, holding a fiancee visa, to marry him (within 3 months, as the visa required!). But oh, how it hurt to leave. I cried every day for months thinking of that day, mainly because the thought of leaving my family, in particular my mom, who had a really hard time dealing with my departure, was a bit hard to bear. But right when I arrived I busied myself with the wedding preparations and was really happy about that!

I love my life here. LOVE it. I love how friendly most people are, how easy it is to switch careers, how easy we have it (except for, oh, maternity leave and health insurance and America's love of guns). How easy *I* have it. Really I am so thankful for my life, here in the US. But I also miss my family, some friends, bread, pastries (oh the pastries...), talking about politics at any given dinner, Paris and Normandie.Sometimes I dream of going back, even for a few years. Seeing Léo at school with other French kids would be so fun. But we have jobs here and a good life. Moving to France without a plan would be scary -especially because I'm a person who doesn't deal well with change. Maybe one day, though...

So today I celebrate 8 years of joys and quirkiness, of new life (lives!) and surprises... and I rejoice at my trip to France in a few months!

And if by chance you are a French reader and know of an opening for an development worker position in Paris, let me know. I'd move back home in a heartbeat!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Words!

Léo has been understanding English and French quite well and he's talking more and more. Here's a little update of his vocabulary at almost 22 months (TWENTY TWO?!? Wow...)

- He says mama (sometimes "momon" for maman) and dada or daddy. He says "babi" for papi. He says "pa" for grandpa. He also knows the name of two friends at school "zzza" is Jack and "Mani" is Amani.
- He usually only pronounces two phonemes and not the end of the words: Ba(ll), bu(s), bi(rd) -actually he says "boo" for bird and "boo" is also for balloon-, boa(t), bi(ke), baba (byebye). So many baby words start with a B. At first he couldn't pronounce "p" and only said "b" (bea for pea = please. ba for pa = grandpa) but now he knows Ps!
- "Hai" for hi. He says hi to a lot of people. What a cutie!
- He says "non." Not "no" but "non." That's his only French word! For yes he has a high pitched "mmm."
- Of course he says "baba" for bottle and for anything that contains liquid.
- He says "dagay" and "agaaaaay" for again. He says that word about 408 times a day.
- "Doh" for go. When he watches sports on TV he says to the players "doh, doh, dho!"
- He uses a lot of sounds. Looots of sounds. All things that go have a sound as do all animals. Food is just "mmmm." His pillow and blanket have the same sound, kind of a silent snore "zzzzz."
- He shakes his body left-right-left to mean music.
- He says "nana" for banana and "appo" for apple, oranges, pears, and any fruit that's round.
- He has his own counting system: "bee boh da" are 1, 2, 3. I don't know how he came up with that but he's super consistent. And because we count stairs when he takes them, stairs are "bee-boh-da."
- Elmo is "Lala" because that's what he sings. Cookie Monster is "rwarwa", as are cookies. He knows the name of "Abby."
- He says "pea" and "tatoo" for please and thank you. He's quite polite, I must say.
- He knows the letter "o" because we keep on showing him the letters of his name and say "L-E-O-O-O-O." So he points to the "o" and says "o-o-o-o." His name is "élo" or "eelo." He says his name 1,010 times a day!!
- Other random words: "guitah" for guitar, "soo" for shoes, "boo" for blue and blueberry (and grapes because they look like blueberries!).
- He only puts two words together now. "Eelo doh," "baba pea" and so on.
- He points at the rest to show us what he means and it works really well!

That's it for now, I think. It's really neat to hear him try new words. He's not in any hurry to speak more because we all understand each other rather well.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

2012 Recap

Happy New Year!
Bonne année 2013.
I wish you all a year of joy, love, and fulfillment.

It seems that 2012 came and went. A lot happened! I stayed with the same organization but have a new job that I love. I visited three new countries (2 for work, 1 for leisure). I also took 3 domestic trips for work and as many to visit family. Léo turned one, learnt to walk, is learning to speak, and has been delightful year round. He finally has been sleeping through the night for 3 weeks straight. Joseph had a great year at work and now has a really great opportunity to open a new branch. Finally my dad and brother visited us at the end of the year -great way to end the year!

Next year promises to be exciting as well. We're going to travel to Europe in the spring. We are thinking about buying a house (I can't give too many details right now but they'll come in due time). We're also thinking of Baby #2 in the near future (+ 9 months obviously!). I will travel again for work, mostly to El Salvador, which I'm really excited about -I'm a little less excited that my first trip there is in just a week because I'll miss my baby but hey, at least I get to travel. This year Léo will turn two and will probably talk a great deal. I can see fun and tantrums in the future!

As we were watching the fireworks ringing in the new year I thought that this year I don't have resolutions. I don't even have great expectations. I am just going to enjoy the ride. I do have some resolution-ish thoughts (be kinder to the dogs, eat healthier, save money, smile more) but nothing specific that can be broken after 2 weeks! I'm ready for 2013.