Thursday, December 12, 2013

Cause or symptom - Reflection on Newtown

On Saturday the US will sadly celebrate the first anniversary of the Newtown's Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. 6 adults gunned down. 20 children, all in first grade, killed. Can you imagine leaving your child in the morning in school, a safe place, and hearing later on that they were killed in such a scary and gruesome fashion? There are no words.

Since then the US hasn't made any progress to either deal with gun violence of finding better ways to treat people with serious mental health issues. People who love their guns cling to the idea that they need to protect themselves and people who don't like government-led healthcare cling to the idea that they shouldn't pay for something that is not affecting them. And once again, I see something that is really disturbing: we'd rather deal with symptoms, with consequences, than do the hard work of finding causes for issues and dealing with those. So instead of working on the cause of gun violence (poverty, availability of arms) people buy more guns to protect themselves in case they're attacked. Instead of working on the cause of mental illnesses, whatever they are, we load people with medications that may effectively help in some cases, but might leave people even more lonely and dangerous in other cases. And mind you, I see this too in my work: we deal with AIDS by telling donors we are working with orphans and widows (well I know we're actually working HARD to decrease maternal transmission of the virus and teaching people about safe sex. I'm mostly talking about what people care about, what they give money to), we get money when we talk about trafficking rescues, not when when we talk about prevention. It's always the same: dealing with consequences -with the symptoms of the issue- instead of taking time to examine the root cause of issues and actually decreasing the issue in the first place.

So as we talk about Newton, I know that we will weep and grieve... and go back to our ways of thinking. I'll hug my baby closer. Some people will hug their rifle closer. Sad, sad world.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

An update, at last!

I am finally updating this blog. I think about updating it all the time and then never find time to do so! So this will be a bunch of miscellaneous items!

First, I was in Honduras with work last week when I read on the TV in front of the workshop room that Nelson Mandela has died. Very maturely I broke down crying. You see, I have always known about Mandela. I have always admired him. My mom talked to me about him when I was 7-8. I was a huge fan of Johnny Clegg when I was 9-10 and even attended one of his concerts with my father -and his main song advocated for the release of Mandela. I cried for joy when he was freed, rejoiced when he was elected president (and those images of long lines of people waiting to vote for the first time in their lives is the reason why I will always vote if I have the right to, because others still can't today), and then I cried again when the South African team won the World Cup of rugby the year after. And since then I have followed his life from afar, knowing he would eventually die but hoping this day would not come too soon. Well it has, and it was heartbreaking. Oh Madiba... He was a man of profound political convictions (violent at first, peaceful later on) and political intelligence. He was a man of peace and reconciliation. I know that he had short-fallings as president -the way he didn't really deal with AIDS, the way reconciliation sometimes meant obliged forgiveness, the way established quotas were not that good for the economy- but everyone expected so much from him. He became an icon. And today we -I- remember him as a man who was able to unite a country and the world around peace and freedom. What a great, great loss.

Now I am back home. Work has been really busy lately. Home life has been equally crazy! That means I haven't made friends here yet. I have a great friends in Orange Country but we rarely see each other. I want friends. I miss my friends from Seattle dearly. I am craving close friendships... but I don't want to meet new people. I am a member of 2 Meetup groups who cater to French families. I went to a dinner with the group 2 days ago and there were maybe 112 adults there. I just wanted to hide in the bathroom or leave. Uh I am so uncomfortable meeting new people. So I focused on a couple of persons, the woman sitting to my right and her husband. Fortunately, the French are usually good at talking about serious topics. I suck at small talk. Suuu-uuuck. So we talked about nice, serious things, but man... I was glad to leave! I am so much more comfortable surrounded by Joe's family members because they're awesome and I love them, but they're not "friends" per se. I feel getting to know people might be difficult for my introverted self, but I'm going to try anyway.

One good way to find friends would be through church. Ah yes... I haven't found time to look for a church here. And I am a bit stuck -like I was in Seattle for, oh, 5 years before I found my church- because I want to go to a Catholic church but want the kind of small groups and relationships that is found in Protestant churches. So in the meantime... I don't go to church. I have to start "church shopping" pronto. But even my Catholic church in Seattle, which was great and diverse and welcoming and so focused on social justice issues didn't have small groups. And I want small groups. I want to grow in my spiritual walk. Then again I say that now but maybe finding the time to meet would be too much for my schedule. I just need to make time and go for it.

That being said, making time for friends / groups is great but I haven't even made time for a date night in months. And we live 50 minutes away from Joe's family... and we see them almost every weekend! You'd think a date night would be an easy thing to schedule, and you'd be wrong. I need a date night. Stat.

Finally, Leo has been a joy lately. He's talking non stop -mainly about Cars (the movie) and how fast he is and how he wants to race everyone. He cannot pronounce "F" and says "P" instead. So he's "paster than past!" He still says his name is Eelo. That's the only "L" sound he pronounces, though, as his "L" still sounds like "W" as is awwegaytow. His "K" sounds like "T" so he eats "tooties." And his French is sadly limited -that should be better when he (hopefully) goes to a French school next year. He is working on intonation and when he asks a question he has this very cute high voice. He is cuddly and funny. I feel I need to be stricter on some areas of our lives (sitting down and eating dinners, the amount of TV we watch, the candies he's eating, the toys he wants to buy and usually gets, etc). Ah motherhood. I love it and at times I really just want my old life back. Lucky I'm learning to be a good mom with the best little boy I could have wished for. He is my world and my sunshine.

So that's about it for now... I will commit to updating this blog more in 2014 (one of the resolutions I know I will make!).