What Léo has been up to

My baby turned 18 months old yesterday! He's a full-on toddler now -but he's still my baby. In some ways he is mature -he talks more, he understands us, he runs and hides, and his brain is in constant motion- and in some ways he's still really young -he cannot control his emotions, he still wants to be rocked before going to bed. He is pretty tall (98th percentile) and fairly lean (70th percentile). His hair is full of curls. He is a picky eater but he's healthy -he loves Nutella and cookies but also all fruits and asparagus. He repeats a lot of words but can only say 2 or 3 phonemes "ba" for ball, "buh" for bird and bus, "abo" for apple and avion (plane, in French), etc. He loves to say "non!" He waves a lot, he dances and sings non stop, he loves being chased, he runs all the time, he walks backward every day for fun, and he tries to jump every time we're in elevators (go figure!).

We had a mini-conference with his daycare director and she said that he's very observant, doesn't smile that much unless he means it, plays on his own a lot, and overall is pretty reserved. That about blew my mind because at home he laughs all the time. He definitely is shy -something we have to know and respect. He is finally starting to pick up books -this morning Joe took him out of the crib after he woke up and instead of running into the living room he sat in his bedroom and chose books from his baby-library. I'm so glad about that! He loves everything Elmo (well, mainly songs from Sesame Street) and trains. He likes pointing at planes in the sky. He loves helping by walking the dogs and opening the garage door.

Sometimes he throws tantrums -he very carefully lowers himself on the ground and just lays there! I have to say I'm not good at setting boundaries and limits and he can pretty much get away with anything with me. Yup, I'm *that* parent! I'm aware of it and working on it.

Oh, and last but not least HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT consistently. Oooooh yeah! At home he still takes 2 naps per day during the weekend but we feel that this routine might end soon. When he was born he slept for about 19-20 hours per day so we know this baby needs sleep to function well. So do we. We have a deal!

That's it. We have a very funny, loving, kind, determined, joyful child. I love him more than words can express. He is my world.

 He loves having "fun" at the park (ha!).

 And sometimes he's serious.

 And his hair is always a bit crazy.

But that doesn't prevent him from being a ladies' man. That's his daycare girlfriend, Grace. (Their shirts match!)

 He loves Elmo. He also loves feeding Elmo!

Mainly he's just a funny, healthy, beautiful kiddo!

14 months!

Last month I didn't write anything when Léo turned 13 months old because, well, now that he's over a year old, is there really a use writing a monthly update? But it's been two months and though Léo hasn't changed that much, life with him has changed. You guys, he's such a treat! This week he was sick so I got to spend 3 whole days with him and I loved it. LOVED IT. I also love my job so I won't quit but lemme tell you, it's tempting. I feel so sad having to go back to work tomorrow. So torn. When I went back from maternity leave I felt guilty but now I know what I'm missing. TONS. I'm missing being able to speak to him in French all day long. I'm missing his constant "talking" (everything sounds like daddy, daly, and doggy but with enough variations that you know he's having something like a 12-word vocabulary). I'm missing just hanging out and going out with him -today as a matter of fact we went out between every nap and it was awesome. Uh, it's so hard having to go back to work!

As I said, nothing major has happened. No new words, no new development (no sleeping through the night. Uh). But he's doing more and more of the little things that make him so fun: walking like a robot, walking with little steps, dancing, walking backwards, asking to be chased all. the. time, starting to like reading books (it's now part of our bedtime routine), showing constant love for me (he's definitely in a mommy phase right now) by hugging me and wanting to be in my arms, learning to open doors (which comes in handy for him during bedtime routine when we're reading on the floor, and he suddenly gets up, opens the door of his bedroom, and WALKS OUT). And his smile. Oh, I just can't get enough of his smile and laughter. He's my pride and joy.

Mini-Jedi! (yeah, that's foam pipe insulator)

Not able to choose just one cart! This boy needs the same thing in each hand (usually food!).

Trying to put shoes on.

ONE!

My sweet baby boy is one. Yesterday I read "your baby will be a toddler when he turns one, or if you want, when he walks." Um, how about, as my dear friend Jen suggested, when he turns 18 months old? Yeah, I'll go with that.

It's been a fast year. He has grown so much, physically, intellectually, emotionally. He was kind of a spineless blob and now he's a funny and happy little man.

I went through pictures of him yesterday and... I do not regret ANY day that happened before today. I have loved Léo with all my heart and all my soul from the day he was born, but saying I enjoyed this first year thoroughly would be a big fat lie. The first weeks were difficult. I was a crying mess in the first two weeks. I dreaded the nights, when I felt so alone and helpless (as a matter of fact I started being withdrawn and depressed at about 8PM every day and couldn't wait until the sun came up). I worried about everything. Fortunately I have had the greatest network of girlfriends. They were (and still are) willing and ready to answer every single one of my questions and encouraged me daily -and checked up on me frequently, for which I am so, so thankful. And they kept on saying "It gets better. Hang in there. It gets better."

And it did! I don't know when exactly I stopped worrying about everything, but gradually the cloud lifted. I still haven't found my brain. I still go through bouts of emptiness and mild depression. I still waver between wanting to be a stay at home mom and having a career (this morning I got emails from two different women I know. One decided to stay home and the other is moving to LA for a great job opportunity. Both emails made my heart stir). I still question a lot of things. But I know I am a good mom. Joseph is an amazing father. Léo is happy. There is no doubt in my mind that we are raising a healthy, confident, and happy child.

I also have discovered new things about myself: I can live with barely any sleep at all, I love seeing the world through my child's eyes, I can make good decisions about parenting, I don't care about milestones anymore. And I have discovered a love I didn't know existed. A fierce, protective, yet tender love for my baby. He is my sunshine, my everything.

A few things about him as he starts his second year:
- He loves purple! On Sunday we went to a baby's party and there were plenty of colorful balls. He only picked the purple ones. At home we gave him crayons and again he only picked the purples one.
- He anticipates things. When we tickle him he starts laughing even before we touch him. Obviously we've been tickling him a lot.
- He points to what he wants. he points with his hand wide open so sometimes it's tough to know what he really wants (our house is a mess!).
- He loves dogs. he will stare at them, run after them, and laugh at them. He always plays with Piper and wants kisses from her (he opens his mouth wide and says "aaa"!)
- He still loves the vacuum cleaner (see the other blog).
- He loves walking and sometimes tries to run.
- He tries to put 2 sounds together. Right now he loves the sound of the letter "L." He puts his little tongue between his teeth and goes at it "LLLLL." And then he says "dl-dl-dl." I can't wait for his first word -which reminds me, I need to stop cussing so much. Yikes.
- He understands French. When I open my arms and ask for a hug, he comes to me and gives me a hug. When I ask "Where is..." he starts looking around. I love that he gets a bit of French (I only see him a couple of hours per day during the work week so his French immersion is limited).

After the excitement of this last year he decided that he would start his second year being a DIVA!




WE LOVE YOU LEO!!

11 months!

Léo is already 11 months. It's his last month of infancy. *sad face* I know I sound like a broken record but the past few months have gone by so fast!

Léo has done a few very cute things while he was 10 months old, like putting the phone to his ear and pretend he's talking, pointing at things, and babbling more and more. He still loves the vacuum cleaner, still laughs a bunch, is still teething (finally #5 and 6 are out), and is still not sleeping through the night. He flew to OC for the 3rd time to be with Joe's family while I was in Vietnam. He does fine on the plane, which is really nice. He also eats a lot (avocados, strawberries, bananas, peaches, pears, green beans sometimes). He's still cuddly, which of course I love about him.

The main thing is that our baby is walking! He took his first steps a day before he turned 11 months old and he's been on the go since. It's super cute. We call him "baby zombie" because he walks with his hands raised in the air.

Here is our baby at 11 months (on St Pat's Day, so we're obviously late taking pictures):

We'll post a video of his walking soon.

10 months!

Léo is 10 months old. This past month, he's become really cuddly, he has learnt to climb on couches, he makes fun sounds with his mouth, and... he is sleeping better (11 hours straight 2 nights ago... followed by a not-so good night last night, but the overall picture is improving). He still babbles a lot (mainly dadadada). We think he calls us "Da!" Well, he doesn't really call me anything, but he calls Joe "Da." It's really cute. He doesn't have stranger anxiety but when he sees someone new, he buries his head into our shoulders. He hugs us a lot. He wants to be in my arms all the time. When I pick him up at day care he does a funny sound with his nose (he breathes really loudly and crunches up his nose), smiles, and puts his arms up for me to pick him up. He does that when we pick him up from his crib as well. It's probably my favorite part of the day -not only because I get to spend the rest of the day with him (all 90 minutes of it, 60 of which are spent driving back home. Uh) but also because he's just so happy to see me -and then he does the same to Joe when we pick him up from work.

Léo's personality is really starting to show. He knows what he wants and doesn't want -and cries when he doesn't get what he wants! He is a very happy baby. We love him so much. More than I could ever express in words. He makes my heart skip a beat and burst about every day. He's my little piece of sunshine.

9 months!

Léo is now 9 months old. He's spent more time outside than inside my belly! In 3 little months he'll be a year! Man... Time has gone by so fast. When he was born, 3 months seemed an impossible time to imagine and now it seems 3 months from now is right around the corner. it's amazing.

Our little boy is absolutely fantastic. We love him so much. He's fun, kind, cuddly (cuddly!), curious, and happy.

Here is a snapshot of Léo at 9 months:

- He has cute curly hair in the back of his head and grey/hazel eyes.

- He talks all the time: dadada, nanana, mamama, fffff, babababa.

- He crawls super fast and cruises. Sometimes he contemplates taking a step alone but decides against it -seriously you can almost see his brain work!

- He knows how to go up a flight of stairs. He loved doing that at his grandparents' over Christmas.

- He LOVES being chased. When he sees Joe or the dogs he starts laughing and "runs" the other way -either crawling fast or cruising fast, which usually means he's slower because he's too excited about the chase to coordinate his feet to move faster! It's really fun to watch.

- He pushes his little lego table with his chest and walks.

- He claps. He doesn't know what clapping stands for but he claps a lot.

- He plays pick-a-boo with a blanket on his own in the car. He cracks himself up doing that.

- He loves hugging Piper. He crawls to her and gives her a big ol' hug. It's cute.

- He swallows food a bit better but he still loves to shove food in his mouth and keep it there.

Here he is. 9 months. My sweet love.

8 months

I'm a little late again posting this update. In the past month Léo has mastered what he's learnt by the time he was 7 months old (thank God for no new developmental milestone. I don't think I could have handled the night time rehearsing!): he crawls a lot, pulls himself up a lot, chats and sings constantly, smiles a gazillion times a day, doesn't sleep through the night, and is overall an absolute joy to be around!

Random little things:

- He loves to eat -and will taste anything you put in his mouth. He loves to shove 2 to 3 pieces of food in his mouth at once. Then he can't chew anything and spits everything out. Classy baby.

- He loves looking outside and could spend a looong time on the window still if we let him.

- He shows what he wants by staring at them (like the widow or the dog). He also started waving toward things he wants to touch -palm pointing down, fingers waving.

- He has 4 teeth. Actually his 2 bottom teeth are out. The 3rd one (up) if halfway out and the 4th (up as well) one just came out yesterday night -he cried so much I had to go out at 11PM an buy ibuprofen. His teeth are so cute!

- He is very affectionate and wants to be held quite often. When he sees me or Joe he crawls to us and stands up while holding our pants, then holds his arms up. It's a "problem" when I work from home and step in the living room to grab something because he comes to me and I just have to pick him up!

- He's really curious. He is starting to really look at books when we read to him instead of just shoving them in his mouth.

- He refuses to lay on his back in his bath. Now he wants to be sitting. That's fine, except I don't know how to rinse his hair.

That's 8-month old Léo in a nutshell. He is a happy, energetic, loving, kind baby boy. Here he is, babbling in his bath. I love this video -and this little boy of ours.

7 Months

Leo turned 7 months old last week. He is a very happy and energetic little boy! Here are a few things about him this month:

- He talks quite a lot and sometimes hums to himself, in particular in the car and when he's falling asleep. He says "babababa," "bwabwabwa," and "mamamama" though he doesn't equate this sound with me.
- He now complains when he doesn't get what he wants or when he doesn't want to nap. He pretends he cries but doesn't have any tears!
- He laughs a lot -when he's tickled, when we pretend-scare him, when we run to him, when we make silly faces. And he gets hiccups every time he laughs, without fail.
- He's always in a good mood.
- When he doesn't want to drink his bottle, all I have to do is pretend I'm drinking it and he suddenly wants his milk back. Same thing when he wants my Iphone. If I pretend to be on the phone with a toy, he'll want that instead. Very useful!
- He is so full of energy. He never sits still anymore! He crawls, climbs, and walks when held. He bangs on everything. Even when I rock him to sleep he asks to be rocked even faster.
- He is no longer breastfed. He doesn't care much for solids yet unless it's read food (cut red pepper, bread, croissants!).
- He doesn't sleep through the night. He doesn't need a pacifier anymore but is used to eating and being rocked upright before bed. We'll wean from middle of the night feedings and sleep train once he's over jetlag.
- His hair is starting to curl in the back and above his ears. It's so cute!
- He has 2 bottom teeth. It's really cute to see them when he smiles.
- He loves people! On the plane he relished all the attention he could get (above all the attention from old women who didn't understand I was trying to rock my baby. TO SLEEP). He stares at people until they smile at him and then he smiles back. He also still raises his eyebrows a la Joey in Friends ("Howya doin'?"). It's pretty funny when he does that to women in the elevator or at the store.
- The main thing lately is that he is trying to explore everything and wanting to be independent. However, he wants me to be close by. He explores around me. He clims over me to see what's behind me. He crawls somewhere and then comes back to me and wants to be held. I know it's normal and it's really interesting to see it happen right there in front of our eyes. I don't know how I feel about his becoming more independent but I love that he needs me to be his own little person.
- I love him so much. I love him more and more every day. He's so, so, so awesome. I sing to him at night to his mobile music and tell him how much I love him. Usually it goes like this "I love you more than life, I love you more than Twix (replaced by food, books, baths, wine). That's how much I love you baby!" ;)

That's it. Leo in a nutshell at this point in time. And I tried to take his 7-month pictures. Um, FAIL! But those pics really show how energetic and fun he is.

6 Months!

Happy half birthday to my sweet boy!! I cannot believe he's 6 months! It's like the Holy Grail of babyhood: you're done with exclusive breastfeeding (pat on the back from me to me, he's still breastfed, though not quite exclusively).

A few milestones reached:

- He says "babababa" which is really super cute because you can see how his brain works to make the sound.

- He sits up alone.

- He has a pretty regular schedule during the night: he wakes at 11:30 and 2:30 to feed and wakes up at 6 o'clock. Most nights he stays up for 45' after either feeding. Oy.

- He loves the jumparoo. We sing to him and he jumps in rhythm.

- He's trying to crawl by lifting his butt but he doesn't understand that he needs to move his knees.

- He is a great car napper -which is awesome since he sleeps on the way to and from day care.

I can't wait to see what this month brings -food, for one!

6 weeks.

6 months.

5 months!

Léo is now 5 months old. I see him grow day after day and he's becoming a really fun boy to be around. Two nights ago I stood next to his crib and watched him sleep. He just looked so small. It reminded me that even though he seems to learn something new everyday, understands us better, develops a sense of humor, etc, he's still just a baby. He's my baby. I said that when he was about 6 weeks old and it still applies: he's already 5 months old, yet he's only 5 months old.

He has changed SO much in a month!

- He loves to laugh with his dad. He also loves being "thrown" in the air. He has a super cute laugh.

- He has found and constantly eats his feet.

- He loves to try to hold his bottles. He doesn't really like to nurse during the day anymore so I've had to pump and bottle feed him a lot. At times I use TV as a way to hold his attention so that he finishes his bottles.

- His sleep has really changed. He now sleeps in his crib, unswaddled. At night he wakes up twice to feed -at 1 and 4 (no more 11 feedings, I think). After 4 he has a really hard time falling back asleep. He doesn't take long naps anymore. He needs to be rocked to sleep -well if we sleep trained him he would not need to be rocked, but we haven't started that yet.

- He "talks" a bit more -i.e., he grunts less. He loves talking to Piper.

- He drools TONS.

- He grabs everything and puts everything in his mouth.

- We fed him oatmeal cereal and bananas but he didn't care for either.

- He can sit and stand if we support him. He's still pretty immobile, which is nice since our home is not baby proof at all!

- He smiles a lot. At everybody.

He still rocks my world every day. I love this little boy so much!

4 months

Goodness! Léo is already 4 months old. Today was his first full day at day care. He did awesome. I didn't do so well. Fortunately my great friend Lisa dropped her son at the same time and gave me a bear hug while I dried my tears, put on a smile, and wished Léo a good day. He was so tired when I got him back that he fell asleep in the car and only stayed awake for an hour after we got home. So this is how it's going to be from now on... I'll see him a little in the morning, a little in the car (2 hours+ of commute. Poor little guy!) and a little in the evening. Oh and then twice during the night, but that doesn't really count. He will spend between 11 and 12 hours outside of the house every time he goes to day care. I know this is what all working parents have to go through but it is really frustrating. I miss my baby!

Recap of this month:

- His eyes are starting to be green. They're still beautiful.
- He now only blows bubbles as a comfort mechanism, when he's tired or stressed. He doesn't really coo but grunts a bunch.
- He smiles all the time. He laughs a lot, too -mainly at Joe when he makes silly dance moves and when we raise him in the air and bring him down super fast. It's so cute to see him stare at Joe and wait for him to make him laugh. He has hiccups every time he laughs.
- He's great at grabbing stuff and putting everything in his mouth (or his eyes, when he misses his target!). That is true of my face, which he loves to eat (see video after picture). I brag that he likes kissing me, but in reality he might just be hungry. You can see him grab his hand at one point, as if he needed to suck on something. I don't know whether he knows what a kiss is at this point -though I kiss him 10 times per minute so by now he should know what it is!!
- He's discovered the dogs. He loves trying to grab them.
- He almost rolls over from back to front but he doesn't know what to do with his arms so he gets stuck. He hasn't rolled from front to back in ages. This almost rolling over thing is annoying at night when he's swaddled. I think the swaddle days are almost over, unfortunately.
- He drinks from bottles without a problem and wakes up 2 to 3 times per night. He drinks a bit of formula each day so that his stomach gets used to it -though a couple of weeks ago he didn't poop for 11 days, which was a bit scary. Yes, I have become one of those moms who talk about poop shamelessly!
- He's starting to love books. I like reading "I love you through and through" and "Whoever you are."
- He's still super mellow and really easy going.

We love him so much!!!

3 Months Old

(My brother took this pic this afternoon)

Léo turned 3 months old today. I remember when he was spitting up and crying tons at 2 weeks old and the nurse at the pediatrician's office said "it should pass by the time he's 3 months old." That seems like forever and a day to me and I seriously wanted to drop kick her. But it did go by fast... in retrospect! My little boy is growing and I love spending time with him.

A few things about him:

- His eyes are still blue!

- He smiles a lot and has even started to laugh today. It's the cutest thing in the world. I have a video of him laughing and I have watched it 10 times tonight (he's sleeping so I can't make him laugh)!

- He rolls over from tummy to back. He doesn't do it quite intentionally, but he has done it consistently when we do tummy time.

- He always finds a way to get his hands out from the swaddle sack at night or during naps, then wakes himself up because he still has a moro reflex. I don't quite know how to prevent that!

- He loves blowing bubbles.

- He is very attentive and quiet at times. When he wants someone's attention, he'll just smile at the person and turn his head shyly (think Lady Diana).

- He sleeps a lot. Like 16-18 hours per day. He falls asleep after being up for about 60-90 minutes. He's predictable that way.

- He just discovered that he can suck on his hands. He does that quite a lot -and drools tons in the process.

- He freezes when he sees a camera. We have to be sneaky to take a picture of him smiling or a video of him laughing.

- He's addicted to his pacifier.

- He sleeps better at night but still wakes up once or twice to eat. And he wakes up a lot when his pacifier falls from his mouth!

It's so amazing to see his brain work and see him develop day by day. He's super mellow and easy going. He seems to definitely be an introvert for now (he needs moments of calm more than he needs interaction) and I am learning to respect this by not overstimulating him. He loves to cuddle and chill. I love him so much and can't wait to see what the next weeks and months bring.

2 Months Old!

Léo is turning 2 months old today!

A few things about his development:

- His eyes are still blue. We know this will change soon but we're enjoying this beautiful color for now. Blue is actually my favorite color (which explains why more than 3/4 of Léo's clothes are blue!). And yellow. But yellow eyes would look weird.

- He sleeps for about 3-4 hours during the first stretch of the night, from about 11-3 (but then he makes up for it by waking up every 2 hours). Last night he slept from 12 to 2:30 only but he's usually fine sleeping longer hours.

- He is juuust starting to smile. I'm not sure it's a full on smile yet, but I think he's starting to respond to our big smiles with a little one on his own (not followed by a fart of spit up, which his smiles usually announce).

- He's holding his head pretty straight even though we never do formal tummy time. He's a strong little guy.

- His cries are definitely different depending on what he needs. He sounds like a newborn when he's hungry for instance. We can tell pain from frustration and fatigue. It's helpful to read his cues.

- He doesn't like his bouncer anymore. He hates his car seat (which means I dread going anywhere and stay home most of the time). He doesn't like sleeping in his co-sleeper (but sleeps like a champ in my arms or in the Baby Bjorn if we take walks outside).

- He always looks at his left side. And then stares and stares. He doesn't care much for faces. He's still in his own little world most of the time. Of course this worries me a lot but he's just starting to finally look at us at times and maybe smile, so I am trying not to be impatient.

As for me... I feel better than I did when he was about 2 weeks old -thank God! But I am still sleep deprived. I mainly feel guilty because I don't do much during the day (I kind of feel like a lazy bum to be honest) and I feel lost trying to put Léo on a routine (right now there is no routine that I can see though I track meals and naps on a little booklet). My brain feels like it's been bulldozed. I don't have enough focus to read -not even magazines- so I watch TV all day (I recommend "Army Wives" for empty entertainment). I don't want to go back to work but maybe going to work would give a sense to my day. Right now I feel... I don't know. Not depressed at all. More directionless. I can't plan anything because Léo doesn't have a routine. I can't plan anything during his naps because I don't know how long he will sleep -and usually by the time he falls asleep in my arms and gets to his co-sleeper I only have one hour of "freedom" during which I'd rather snack than be active. Maybe it's a poor excuse -I should go out now that he's so young and undemanding. I am not a very spontaneous person to begin with, so maybe I should create a routine on my own (Monday Target, Tuesday Barnes. Yes, that's my kind of fun). I need to organize my brain so that I don't feel so jello all the time. That's my next task then: organize a routine and feel a bit more productive.

Here is a comparison between May 9th and June 9th. June 9th already ... Time is really flying by! My brother and dad will be here on the 22nd and that day Joe starts school again (one class only to get back into the rhythm of studying). I don't go back to work until August 1st, so I still have time before I can officially freak out about leaving Léo to a daycare (which reminds me, I need to find a daycare. Crap!). Ok, picture time!!

One month old.

Two months old.