A stranger in my own land

For the first time since I've moved to the US 6 years ago I really felt like a stranger in France. This disconnect has really annoyed me. I guess that's what happens when you don't travel to your homeland for more than 2 years -and you become a mom in the meantime. French and US American cultures are not that different. We all enjoy a fairly good lifestyle and take pleasure in the same things. On a daily basis though little differences mean that French and Americans might find that they are actually quite different in how they think and interact with one another.

For instance before this trip I never found French people rude. This time, however, I got a sense of French flair right as I got off the plane in Paris. Air France doesn't let you get back the stroller you gate checked at the gate. You get it back at baggage claim. So I had Leo in the Ergo, a backpack, my carry on (with wheels, thank goodness), and his car seat + base. I seriously looked like a donkey. Do you think anyone would have asked to help? Nope. On the way back on the contrary 2 or 3 people asked whether they could help me. Right there is a big difference between our two cultures.

Then I went grocery shopping. The cashier was so slow and so rude. I couldn't believe it! And of course I knew it wouldn't be worth it to complain because that would go on deaf ears (I know, I was a cashier in this very supermarket). In another store, the 2 cashiers were talking together and very audibly sighed when they had to care for my purchases. Seriously? Tourists in France deal mainly with customer service representatives (and people in line who cut in front of you) -and I think that's why they think French are so rude. Because they are! However, French men are gentlemen who will open and hold doors for women. They don't even think twice about it. That's quite nice.

French people also don't like people too much. They love friends and family but they won't go out of their way for people they don't know. That means that new moms won't smile at new moms (I tried and moms looked at me like I wanted to steal their babies) and people don't say hi in the street. They might in little towns and villages but not in big cities. To be fair, I guess people don't greet each other in NYC either!

Another big difference is fashion. I knew I couldn't walk outside with tennis shoes so I brought one nice pair of shoes but they gave me blisters so I had to reverse back to my tennis shoes. I pretty much looked like I came from TrailerTrash Land. Every woman, even moms of newborns, was dressed really well. Hello new moms, there's something called yoga pants and you have the right to wear them until your baby is old enough to go to coll..., ok fine, to walk. In all seriousness, I bought a few clothes there but really wanted a lot more. I like how French women dress. Very classy and elegant, yet simple.

One other thing that French people have "over" Americans is their lifestyle. They enjoy taking their time. What is really annoying when you wait in line becomes actually nice when you have dinner or a drink in a cafe. French people love their vacation and generous leave -real maternity leave (doubled when you have twins, I have just learnt!). French people appreciate good food, good movies, good music, and good conversations. They're pretty hedonist in general.

As much as I felt disconnected, I would go back and live there in a heart beat. Well, not right now because of family and job issues (finding a job in France is way tougher than in the US, even in this economy), but maybe one day. I want to be able to walk to a bakery in the morning, to meet friends and see a good French movie, to watch good TV programs that don't require cable, to eat healthy food that doesn't cost that much to buy. Right now I feel very American. I like living here. I need to be ok with this -because until this trip I considered myself VERY French. Not so anymore. I guess I belong to both cultures now and just need to embrace this chance to know and love two countries for what they are.