Transitions

Ah, I wish I had a great blog post telling you about my 10 tips to ease transition from one child to two, but for that you'll have to go on Pinterest. Let's be honest: it has been a bit chaotic at home lately. Léo is having a difficult time with his new school and Jude's arrival. Latest example: last night and this morning. He came to our bed at about 4:30, right as I was done feeding Jude (and cleaning us up. Little man has major reflux). Léo told me that he wanted his car blanket back -the one I put under Jude's rocker material. I told him that was not possible and he screamed and cried "I don't want Jude to have any of my blankets." Ah yes, it is starting. Then this morning he screamed and cried because he didn't want to go to school. And during the day he screams and cries (really screams -high pitched and loud) about a lot of things: wanting to go to the pumpkin patch NOW, wanting yet another toy, not wanting to eat, etc. It's been rough to be collected and answer like an adult (I have heard myself say "FINE!" like a teenager. Not my finest moment). It's also been tough to find a balance between respecting his feelings and saying no, once and for all, on any given issue. I'm reading Siblings Without Rivalry and hopefully that'll help some. I just think it's been a lot all at once and it's hard for a 3-year old to process. And it's hard also to be in class and understand nothing of what the teacher says. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa on that one.

Hopefully in a few months I'll have that 10 tips blog post. In the meantime... I'm trying to find a balance one day at a time!

Mothers from abroad - I am featured on a splendid blog!

Check this out -and generally stalk her blog (she is my favorite blogger these days): 24 Surprising Things About Parenting in the United States.

At last an update!

It's been too long. Way too long! An update is in order.

JUDE IS BORN! Well that's an update all right. Our little guy was born 3 weeks and 2 days early on August 29th. He's been a delight since. I am quite in love with him. Léo has had to adjust (whole post coming on that one) but overall we're all doing pretty well. A few things:
- I started feeling strong contractions at 3:30am -they woke me up- and gave birth at 6:10am. Yup, fast. And painful. Oh my word, painful. But fast. Yay!
- He eats every 3 hours (4-5 during the night! That didn't happen with Léo and I'm overjoyed, but I am not controlling anything and am so afraid he's going to start waking up in the middle of the night and stay awake). He's quite a chunky baby now. He went from 19 inches and 6 pounds to 21.5 inches and almost 10 pounds in 3 weeks. I love his baby fat rolls!
- He sleeps the rest of the time. He's just starting to be awake during the day, now at 6 weeks. And he's also starting to resist naps. Awesome.
- He loves his pacifier. He eats super fast (I have a fast flow) so he needs to suck on something. Léo did, too. Pacifier to the rescue! That being said, that thing should have its own circle of hell. It's great when it sticks in his mouth but all hell breaks lose when the thing falls. Oy.
- I love not working. I love my job but I am already really sad that the thought of going back to work in 5 weeks. Jude will only be 2.5 months. Léo was 3.5 months when I went back to work and I thought it was early. Jude will most likely be in daycare for 8-9 hours per day right when he starts being an awesome baby who smiles and cooes. The US and its lack of paid leave... Infuriating.
- Léo did really well the first 2 weeks despite having a brother and starting in a new school all within a few days. But he's having a hard time now. Tantrums galore. That is a bit hard, but understandable. I love my cool a lot, so I apologize a lot. We're all learning here.
- It seems that whenever I start drinking my coffee or eating he wakes up. Uncool, child.
- Speaking of drinking... Wine has returned into my life. Ah, the joy.
- Raising a newborn can be quite lonely. Good thing I am an introvert who loves her books and TV. Still, I wish I could see more people and make new friends (but actually just typing that makes me cringe. I wish I could see my current friends more). Maybe I'll start going to museums during the week. The Baby Bjorn should help (I splurged on the new one that's better for babies' hips).

Léo likes his new school. I love his teacher and am amazed at how fast he learns new French words (he counts to 12 and knows the days of the week). I am so excited about having Jude start in 2 years (already!)

I want to go on 2 date nights before I go back to work. I also want to spend one-on-one time with Léo. I'm planning those events and I'm quite excited.

Finally, I might have another blog or change the name of this one. I need something new that will fit with the phase of life I am in and something that will encourage me to post more. I have a crapload of stuff to say, but I never write. So... blog update / renewal in order soon!

And finally, a few pictures, of course!

Meeting baby Jude.

First time holding his brother.

Ah, proud little man!

Resting with his little brother.

Morning of his first day of class in his new school! That was only 4 days after Jude's birth and he did so well!

First day of school! I was probably as or more nervous than he was.

At one week. Picture courtesy of Incandescent Photos.

The things we need to do

In the next few weeks:
- Introduce Leo to French. I don't even know where to start. Yes, it is my mother tongue, but I haven't taught it to anyone ever, so I don't know how to start with him. Maybe I can just introduce some terms he'll hear at school.
- Tell him he's going to a new school. It's difficult to find a balance between wanting good timing (not too early, not too late) while waiting to make him read by talking about it a lot and speaking French. He's starting in THREE weeks. Oh my word. I'm SO stressed about his first few weeks there. I'm hoping we can visit the school before he starts but they're all on vacation until the 22nd, so I don't know what they're willing to do in the last week of August -I'm sure all teachers will be busy prepping their classrooms. I'll harass them on the 22nd! Ok, maybe the 23rd.
- Talk more about the baby! We need to get going. He obviously knows a brother is coming, but we need to get into the details -hospital stay, what to expect from the baby and the first few weeks, etc.

I feel unprepared!

When my love language and raising a grateful child collide

In the midst of all world tragedies and all that is heavy, let me offer you this first world problem post. (I can't write about the world right now. Too much to say, no adequate words to express feelings).

One of my main love languages is gifts. I don't think I grew up with a lot of gifts when I was very young, but I remember getting gifts for good grades and birthdays, and those gifts were always special. As I grew up, the gifts my parents chose for me and my brother (ok, mostly gifts my mom chose for us because she was the one shopping) were always personal and spot on. To this day, I try to choose gifts that mean something to people to show i know and love them and I do like receiving gifts that correspond to my personality. That makes me feel loved.

So it's no wonder I do the same with Léo. I show my love for him by giving him little gifts all the time. And that has created a huge issue. He expects gifts. He expects a toy when we go to Target. He expects a lollipop when I pick him up from school. And if there is nothing, a huge tantrum ensues. I need to stop that -but it is difficult for me because I need to change the way I show love, and I need to do it in a way that I know will be positive for Léo but that won't bring me as much joy. I know parenting is not about me. It's really about who I want him to be. And I want him to be grateful, to appreciate Joe's and my presence rather than presents ( yeah yeah I read that on Pinterest.... and it stuck), to enjoy the little things in life, etc.

And I need to change the way I do things stat because he's already 3, a new little one is coming who will most likely rock his world for a few months, he's going to change school and hear a new language for 9 hours a day (not a good time to change things in his life). I know he won't remember much about what happened when he was so little. Now is the time. And I mean now, as in this month and next. So August might be challenging for us. For me because I need to learn to express my love in new ways. For him because he's 3 and toys are fun and tantrums easy to throw. Wish us luck!

Choices!

I am quite stressed right now and faced with many choices. Mind you, first world problem choices –all good choices in the end. But I do not like making choices. I really take forever to make any decision in life. I like change in theory but in reality change leaves me exhausted, feeling like I need therapy.

We have had to make three main choices lately: whether Leo’s new school was really a good fit for him, where we’d move (in order to be closer to his new school), and whether to start him in the new school in July or September. I think we have all decisions made, but my heart is still fluttering thinking about the other options and I feel less confident than ever. And I am stressed about all the changes ahead for Léo (in chronological order: new apartment, new school, new language, new brother). I need a nap!

How do you deal with making big decisions in your life?

Wordless Wednesday (Joy!)