Reading His Cues

Two days ago was probably the lowest day since Léo's birth. I felt crappy all day, and when Léo started crying during the evening for no apparent reason, I just lost it. I put him in his bouncer and turned around -and while doing that I yelled at the dogs and at Joe. Mind you, Léo almost never cries. I am SO thankful God gave me a sweet baby. I couldn't have dealt with colic or that purple crying that lasts for months. Sometimes though he cries and cries and nothing can soothe him. It happens mostly during the night: he gets frustrated because he can't latch (think bobble head with an arching back) and cries so much he can't calm down, so he can latch even less, and that feeding session becomes quite a pain in the but for both of us.

I realize that I feel so powerless and frustrated when he cries. I really do try to meet his demands before he gets to that point to keep him (and myself) happy. So when he couldn't stop crying 2 days ago I got really sad and mad. Joe got annoyed at me for being so frustrated and depressed all the time, and he said "that's it. Take the dogs on a walk. I'll take care of him." Just then I took Léo in my arms and miracle: he stopped crying and fell asleep. VICTORY! No, seriously: we got it! That particular crying just means "I'm tired." What a relief! Yesterday evening and last night he cried that way again but instead of getting frustrated I just took him in my arms (Joe did that last night to let me sleep a bit), walked with him and voila: the boy fell asleep.

My mood has been way better since. Yesterday while Joe got some shots at the U, I walked in the U Village with Léo in the Ergo. It felt empowering to be able to do that alone. At night it also felt pretty empowering to know what to do to calm him down. We can do this parenthood thing. We need patience and we need to find out what the little one is telling us through his cries. I'm not saying everything is going to be smooth sailing from there, but it helps to get to know him more and know what he needs when he needs it. Sweet boy of mine!