10 years... 10 main differences between France and the US

This past Sunday marked the 10-year anniversary of my moving to the US. I cannot believe it's been that long already! So much has happened since. One of the big changes is that I feel I belong to two cultures. I don't feel quite French anymore, yet I don't feel American at all either. So I thought I'd tell you about the main differences I have noticed between my two countries -the one I was born and raised in and the one I now call home.

1) Toilets.
What? I know. Yet ALL French people are really weirded out when they use public toilets in the US because of the space between the door and the separation wall. In France, you have a closed door, period. Here, you can see people on the loo if you look -but who would look, right? It is weird. I'm used to it now -but I remember thinking it felt uncomfortable to go at first. Also here toilets are clean. In France they're usually a dirty, smelly mess.

2) Clothes
Second major difference: how people dress. I remember owning dresses, skirts, scarves, handbags, and different pants. Now I own yoga pants and comfy clothes. I know this is due to my own laziness, but also to the fact that no one judges you here if you dress like you just woke up. In French schools for instance, you will be in trouble if you wear sweat pants, a hat, or tennis shoes in the classroom. A big no-no is to wear tennis shoes as regular shoes. Even moms of newborns dress well. And the scarf is omnipresent. I miss dressing well. At the same time I am thankful I don't have to think too much about my clothes.

3) Schools
Apart from how you dress in the classroom, there are major differences between the two systems. For one, it seems that kids in the US are expected to know a lot -fast. Most kids know how to read by the time they're 4-5. As I have said in a previous post, in France you learn how to read and write in 1st grade. This morning I dropped by Leo's school to give him his stuffed animal for nap, and they were learning shapes and colors. He learnt all that last year. That being said, I also feel that high school students in France have a more rounded education than high school students here. We study philosophy, languages, world events. Our curriculum is rigorous. But a few years later, universities in the US do a better job at letting students choose their own path, while in France you choose your path in high school (math, economics, literature), and cannot easily deviate from that. You also decide on a major when you enter university, and if you want to change, you have to start all over again. It's frustrating. So there is good and bad in each system!

4) Jobs
I am so thankful I have only looked for jobs in the US. In France it seems that you can only find jobs if you have a degree that corresponds to the job you're applying for. Before moving to the US and while waiting for my fiancee visa to be approved, I applied for secretarial jobs, but was told I didn't qualify because I didn't have a degree in secretarial studies. Um, what? Here in the US there is freedom of movement and people can change careers a lot (I am aware of limitations depending on your level of education, poverty, or color of skin. I'm talking from my point of view).

5) Politics
Oh that's a BIG one! Politics are so different! When my brother and his girlfriend were here, we talked about our political affiliations. My brother's girlfriend is right wing. But she's atheist, anti death penalty, anti guns, pro choice, and pro gay marriage -and most right wing people in France share these beliefs. Here she would be Democrat. One other big difference is that we have a lot of parties in France. At any given presidential elections, 10-15 people are in contention for the job, compared to your 2 or 3. Something else: you guys have the nutso tea party. We have the National Front -the racist party. This party has tried to reinvent itself lately, but the founder made jokes about sending people in trains (reference to the Shoah) and wanted to re-install the death penalty and stop immigration. And this party consistently gets 20% of voters, which is scary and maddening. I would say that Americans are super afraid of everything they don't know, but the French are, well, pretty racist. Try applying for a job with a last name of N'-something or El-something and you probably won't get hired. It's pathetic.

6) Religion
Another huge difference between the two countries. 70% of French people are Catholic -whereas you guys are mainly Protestant and you have about 106 denominations! But the French are secular Catholics. Most people actually don't believe in anything -but they were baptized so they consider themselves Catholics. 12% of the population is Muslim. France is really secular and laic. If a president finished his speeches by "God bless France" people would be up in arms (oh, that's an American idiom for sure. We don't allow firearms in France). One thing we have in common is that it's very hard for the main line to allow others to live their religion openly (head scarves, construction of mosques, for instance). There is prevalence in both country of white privilege that is more than frustrating and has dire consequences.

7) Housing
To put it simply, most apartments or houses in the US are luxurious by French standards. Washer/driers, dish washers and ovens are not usually included in any sort of rental in France. I, for one, love this luxury -which comes with a price: rent in the US is so incredibly expensive compared to France. Also, some housing developments here have all the same type of houses, which is not that common in France, where people have all kinds of different houses. But I think the more modern the houses are, the more similar they look.

8) Service
Ah French service... not awesome. Servers don't get tips so being nice to you is not part of the job. Cashiers don't greet you with a "how are you?" Government agencies are open just a few hours per day and its employees are known for their, er, lack of velocity in dealing with issues. The US wins for service!

9) Friendships
Yes, friendships are different. Here (and by here I mean in California) people are warm and talk about private stuff even if they don't know you but they're terrible at following up -I'm super guilty of this. In France, people are slow to warm up but once you're friends, that's it, you are good to go. That was quite a stark realization for me when I moved to the US.

10) Food
BEST for last, right? Food. Quite different! For one, you can find good, healthy frozen meals in France whereas here you can't find anything unless you go to Trader Joe's.Pastries and bread are so much better in France. You can buy good wine in France for just a few euros. But bad food is so much better here -hmmm burgers! Also the French don't generally eat out, and I found out that I do love eating out -and I also don't like to cook, so yeah.

So... I am French in so many ways (education, politics, secularism) but appreciate the US for a lot (finding a job, housing, everyday luxuries like house stuff and eating out). I miss French culture, especially French movies and songs and being able to discuss very deep issues at the dinner table, but I am happy here. Still, I won't change my citizenship any time soon! I am French, for ever and always.