Lent is long gone now but I am still thinking about what I have learnt during that 40-day period. I didn't give up anything this year. Instead I resolved to read a bit of the Old Testament every day (I had only read a few books). It was quite easy at first because I was in Vietnam for 12 days. Back home, I read the Bible on my Iphone (yes, there's an app for that!) when I went to bed. What I read blew my mind... but not necessarily in a positive way. I read of violence, of genocide, of God ordering the Jews to kill everything in the villages they fought (including men, women, babies -BABIES!- and animals), of terrible injustice against women, of wrongful deaths. Man... Parts of the Old Testament are just brutal. Made me think that we humans were not the only ones in need of redemption when Jesus died...
I mean, no wonder the conflict between Israel and Palestine is that bad when you read the way God tells the Jews to treat their enemies. And the Shari'a has nothing on the Bible: a woman who is raped will be stoned if she didn't scream for help and/or she will have to marry her rapist.
I do not believe that most stories from the Bible are true. I do not believe in Adam and Eve. I don't know whether the miracles of Moses really happened. I certainly doubt Mary's physical virginity. Yet I believe in the message and in the overall philosophy of the Bible -Jesus' message to be exact. But I can't ignore the Old Testament either, as much as I'd like to. It's challenging, really, but I if I call myself a Christian I must be able to know what my religion is about. I am pretty sure I won't change my political opinions -I am pro-choice (you know, not pro-abortion, but pro-choice), definitely pro-LGBT, pro-tax, etc. I just want to know who God is and why he eventually sent Jesus.
And then there's the whole concept of being "saved" and redeemed. I wholeheartedly believe in Jesus' words of love and social justice but I am still struggling with the concept of undeserved grace, or rather the fact that those who don't believe will end up in Hell. I actually read a great book that dealt with the same doubts (Evolving in Monkey Town). So yes, I have some reading to do and thoughts to process. I may have to extend the Lenten season a bit!
1 comment:
Oh man, brutal indeed. It's so hard to reconcile with the God of the New Testament, or Jesus. I certainly don't have the understanding or the answers. I think that if you keep seeking and wrestling to understand God will meet you there. At least you're trying (more than I can say for ma'self!)
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