One of the benefits of having a child

Having a child is wonderful in so many ways. One of the ways is that it opens your eyes to new things -you see the world trough your child's eye. And so I hear every train whistle in town, notice every fast car going by... and I now love to buy clothes and items that are (gasp!) not blue. Recently, I bought green dresses and shirts and a purple wallet. Oh I know... nothing there earth shattering, but for a smurf like me, this is actually pretty big.

So one of the benefits of having a child is widening your world view... starting with colors! 

(Yes, my next post should be more interesting. Maybe. I lack sleep, people. My brain can only produce so much!)

We can't afford a house!

And you know what? It's so freeing to know that! No more looking at over priced homes wondering how we are going to afford a possible mortgage. No more freaking out because I feel guilty that our real estate agent is not getting any business from us. We just can't afford it right now, period. First the market is crazy and houses that sold for 520K last November are sold 650K+ today. Second, FHA loans that have less than a 10% down payment require mortgage insurance for the whole duration of the mortgage (no thanks!). As it stands we don't have anywhere close to 10%.

So we're going to keep on renting for about 3 years, save as much as we can, and then re-assess. If prices go down, we may re-assess before 3 years, but considering this market, I doubt a decrease will happen in the near future. Renting is about 1.5K less expensive than any mortgage we will have if house prices are stable in 3 years. 1.5K PER MONTH. Argh. I'm totally fine with renting. Our lease ends in December and we need to figure out whether to stay or move -but that's a small headache compared to coming up with a huge mortgage every month. I love my job but my company might downsize down the road (we never know) and I want to be able to stay at home for a while if needed without developing an ulcer.

Aaaaah, I like when the message is that clear: nope, can't do it, move along.

Now... about this second car... ;-)

Timely

After I posted my I-have-no-time-wah-wah thoughts yesterday I read my daily devotion (which in truth I read about once a week, catching up on all days. Except yesterday. I was on time) and read this:

From the book Jesus Calling.

"July 31

Trust me in the depth of your being. It is there that I live in constant communication with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.

I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where I live, My Peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in My Presence. Then you will be able to hear Me bestowing the resurrection blessing: Peace be with you."

This was soothing to my heart. Peace be with you. And as we do at Mass, I turn to you my friends today to greet you and wish you a good day. Peace be with you all.

Where does time go?

I feel so old saying this but... what do you mean it's already August??? Time has flown lately. We moved 2 months ago and I feel like I haven't had time to breathe. We were 2 weeks at Joe's parents, then a month in our new place, then 10 days traveling (good trip! I had uninterrupted sleep and read 4 books... heaven!), and now I've been back for a week and I feel like I have been running this whole time -and not running physically, as my weight shows!

I just need a minute... to set up a daily routine for us (I thrive on routine), to figure out whether we need to buy a car or not (I can walk to everything but I feel constrained to that 1 mile-radius around my apartment. 1st world problem, I know), to gather all the documents we need to apply for a loan in case we buy a house,  to gather all the documents to finally tell my government that I've been married for 8 years and oh by the way I have a child and I want him to have French citizenship, to keep on reading, to catch up with friends, to take my mom's phone calls, to set up appointments for a dentist and optometrist for Leo, to see whether he can take swimming lessons anywhere, to...
Pfiew..... I have a lot to do and I feel I have no time to do any of it. Leo goes to bed by 830-9 and we usually watch TV shows at night and then our crazy days start all over again (interrupted by nights that are still crazy. Yikes).

All that rambling to say... I am incredibly grateful for the life we have, for being so close to family (we've seen them every weekend and I love it!), for working from home, for my friends, near and far, for a God who loves me and showers me with blessings. But it all goes so fast! I might need to take a morning off and write everything down. Hmmm, maybe I'll do that!

How has your life been lately?

Books I have read, in case you're interested: Damned Nations, The Light Between Oceans, The Fault in Our Stars, The Lost Wife, The Language of Flowers, and I have begun Bring Up the Bodies and Running the Rift (and I have some books waiting in my Kindle queue: The Bungalow and the Cleaner of Chartres). Gah I love reading!! Recommendations in the comments are appreciated :)

Change is coming!

It's 5:40am. I have been up since 2. I have a Skype meeting at 6, so I'm not going back to bed. Needless to say, I'm exhausted.

It's not a secret: Léo has never been a good sleeper. Take that back. He was a great sleeper until he turned 5 months old and learnt to roll over. After that he became a crappy sleeper and I became quite the enabler. I was never consistent when I did sleep training and now he's 2 and has never slept through the night for more than 3 weeks at a time.

It's been worse lately. He has climbed out of his crib -and now gets out of bed- to come into our bed every night for 2 months. Our trip to Europe, then our move here haven't helped much. He's usually good with changes but I think the last few months have been hard on him -going to daycare has meant daily tears and even though he's still in a good mood all the time I know he's been struggling with all the changes. That has meant that he's been up again for hours on end during the night. Tonight -this morning- he was so exhausted he started crying and screaming uncontrollably. He asks to be rocked, he asks for apple juice, he asks to be in his bed, then in ours... It's frustrating to say the least.

Things will change when I come back from my upcoming trip (queue in mommy guilt). I'll give it a week and then I'll make major changes that will hopefully right the bad habits I've let slide, from his eating to his drinking to his sleeping habits (drinking habits as in too much apple juice!). It'll be hard. I don't know how to say no and how to set boundaries -obviously. But we all need this to happen. We all need to be healthier and we all need to sleep better.

I hope he'll do well with Joe and his family next week. We will both be out of town for 3 nights during that time so he'll have sleep overs at his grandma's and maybe his aunt's.

In the meantime... Coffee, anyone?

Home Office

This is what my setting looks like.

The only thing missing is a picture of my (work) sisters, taken during my last week at work. I need to print it. I'll also add pictures of my friends' children at one point.
Also I (well, Joe does) need to install a keyboard thing under the desk so that I have more room on the desk itself.

Please note that the blue cork board was regular color but I spray painted it blue. Call me Martha!

I like working from here. It's a bit too dark for my taste -I have a lamp on all day- but it's cozy.

Not on vacation anymore

Neither Joe nor I took time off after we moved to California but it still felt like we were on vacation. Sunshine, family, Léo around all the time... One month of what seemed like relaxing time and bonding with family. And now that Léo is at his new daycare (since yesterday) it feels like real life again. The heaviness of leaving him crying behind and the feeling of working without a pause -well, one that doesn't mean a hug from my little guy- really made me land back on planet earth.
But the sunshine is still here (mostly), we live about an hour from our family and friends, and Léo is ready to shower us with hugs and cuddles as soon as we pick him up from daycare.

Life is good. It's not a vacation, but it's good!